Leaning tower of Paris

19.09.18: A TERRORIST bomb attack last night left the Eiffel tower tilting dangerously towards the River Seine.

Les Enfants de la Patrie, a group of extreme right-wing nationalists, claimed responsibility for the bomb, which was a response to the sale of Paris's most distinctive landmark to an American company.

The French government has been selling off national monuments to help cover the multibillion-dollar debts incurred by its collapsing social security system.

Last week the tower's new owners, a Florida-based banana-exporting consortium, announced plans to paint it yellow as an advertising stunt. Now the 899ft tower will have to be demolished.

'It was time to say no,' declared a spokesman for Les Enfants de la Patrie. 'If not, where would they stop? The Arc de Toshiba and the Palais de Bourbon-et-Coke?' TAM