Taylor-made for president

05.11.19: ORSON TAYLOR launched his mayoral campaign yesterday and made a strong case for his presidential candidacy with a resounding speech directed at Chicago's non-voters.

His simple message was encapsulated in a motto that is fast becoming an overnight classic: 'Your ballot or your life'. In his speech, he urged his inner-city brethren to stop committing 'economic suicide'.

At a press conference after his speech, Taylor said he would use his position as mayor as a power base for a presidential campaign. The former Olympic athlete said he was not preaching revolution and condemned all forms of violence.

'I want to see my brothers and sisters standing up against their inner enemies, such as addiction, apathy, abject consumerism and spiritual inertia.'

His wife Gaynor Hockney, who is expecting the couple's second child next month, told reporters that she would continue to be OT's most enthusiastic cheerleader behind the scenes, but that she would not be taking time off from her day job to accompany him on the campaign trail.

With her already famous wry smile, the exuberant deputy director of Caring Now quipped: 'I may end up having to admit I'm wrong, but I'm ready to bet my boy is just about old enough now to learn to tie his own shoelaces.' MF