Who murdered Monroe?

01.02.43: THE BREAKAWAY intelligence organisation, the Paramilitary CIA, believes that it has solved not one, but all, of the conspiracy theories of the late 20th century.

The world is reacting cautiously to an agency disclosure that the assassinations of Marilyn Monroe (1962), John F Kennedy (1963), his brother Robert Kennedy (1968), Martin Luther King (1968) and John Lennon (1980) were all carried out by the same man. Or at least, they claim, by the same being.

Those the PCIA would happily have dismissed as 'crackpots' and 'paranoiacs' are rubbing their hands at the claim that these murders were committed by a being whose existence the American adminstration has always strenuously denied.

The murderous trail, says the PCIA, leads back to 1947, when a UFO crashed in the New Mexico desert near the Roswell air base. There were enough unexplained facts to suppose that the then US government lied to keep information secret.

It seems that US officials recovered only one alien body from the crashed spaceship, though evidence suggested that the craft carried two. The second alien, said the PCIA, apparentl